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Cool Filmz: I am watching Star Wars in Machete Order and It Changes Everything
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Cool Filmz: I am watching Star Wars in Machete Order and It Changes Everything

I still remember sitting in that dark movie theater in the summer of '77, clutching my popcorn as the words "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." appeared on the screen. Boom! Star Wars. It wasn't "A New Hope" back then. It was just Star Wars. No Roman numerals, no prequels, and certainly no divisive opinions about Gungans. We simply had the story of a farm boy, a badass smuggler, a snarky princess, and possibly the most terrifying villain to grace the silver screen. It was a cultural awakening for my young Gen X brain.

Fast forward more decades than I’d like to admit, and here I am—a battle-hardened Star Wars fan who’s seen it all multiple times. I’ve cheered, I’ve groaned, and I’ve argued endlessly over "Han shot first" (he did). I’ve dissected the best and worst of the franchise—from the breathtaking highs of The Empire Strikes Back to the...interesting choices (ahem, midichlorians) of The Phantom Menace. Despite all this, when I stumbled upon the "Machete Order," I realized I could still find new ways to enjoy this series.

What is the Machete Order, you ask? Well, buckle up, my sci-fi friends, because this is how you experience Star Wars the right way. Spoiler alert—it barely recognizes George Lucas’s bizarre decision to start in the middle and then make us all suffer through Phantom Menace.

What is the Star Wars Machete Order?

The Machete Order is essentially a fan-created viewing sequence designed to enhance the storytelling and emotional impact of the Star Wars saga. Originally devised by blogger Rod Hilton, it skips The Phantom Menace entirely, which, honestly, feels like both a revolutionary act and an act of mercy. The order weaves the original trilogy and prequels together in a way that actually makes sense.

You start with A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back to introduce the galaxy, its characters, and that iconic twist ("I am your father") before jumping backward into Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Finally, it ties things up neatly with Return of the Jedi. If your mind isn't blown just thinking about that flow, you might be a droid.

The idea here is to preserve the surprises while giving Anakin Skywalker’s backstory the weight it deserves—because, let's face it, if you watch them in release or chronological order, George's love of exposition makes Darth Vader more of a brooding pantomime villain than a tragic figure.

Here’s how the Machete Order works and why it’s pure genius.

1. Start with A New Hope

Yeah, baby. The granddaddy of modern sci-fi. It’s the movie that started it all, and if you didn't hear John Williams' score just by reading this, I don’t know if we can be friends. Starting here works for any viewer—newbies who’ve never watched Star Wars get to experience the hero's journey of Luke Skywalker, and veterans like me get to be reminded why we fell in love with this saga in the first place. Plus, it sets up the Empire as the oppressive villain with Darth Vader ruling as its menacing enforcer.

Who needs midichlorians or whiny kid Anakin? Start with an epic space battle, a sarcastic rogue, and a princess who can handle her own rescue.

2. Follow up with The Empire Strikes Back

This is where the stakes get real. Vader looms larger, the depth of the universe unfolds, and Lucasfilm hits us with cinematic perfection. And then there it is—the twist of all twists—"No, I am your father." It's peak Star Wars, and the emotional weight here carries perfectly into the following movies.

3. Go back to Attack of the Clones

Wait...what? Yep, now that we know Vader is Luke’s dad, it’s time to reveal who Vader was. The seismic impact of "I am your father" dictates this jump backward because now we get to explore Anakin’s doomed origins. Sure, we have to endure some cringe-worthy Hayden Christensen + Natalie Portman chemistry ("You're breaking my heart," anyone?), but in the Machete Order, it serves a purpose.

The political intrigue of Palpatine’s rise becomes sharper, the Jedi’s failure feels greater, and Anakin’s slow descent is something you now care about.

4. Then, Revenge of the Sith

Anakin completes his tragic fall, and it breaks your heart. Seeing the corruption of someone we know is doomed to become Vader is so much more impactful when viewed through the lens of the original trilogy. The galaxy goes to hell in the darkest chapter of the prequels, and suddenly Vader's first appearance in A New Hope feels way more ominous.

Also, can we talk about Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine? Chef’s kiss.

5. End with Return of the Jedi

Back to the present—well, timeline-wise. Closing out the saga, Return of the Jedi brings back the moody Vader we met in Empire Strikes Back, but with added layers of tragedy. He’s not just a scary Sith Lord in a respirator anymore. He’s the guy we just saw lose everything in the name of love, manipulated by a maniacal space wizard.

This emotional payoff makes the ending hit extra hard. You believe there’s good in him and feel vindicated when Luke sacrifices it all to redeem his dad. Will I cry during the rewatch? Mind your business.

And where is The Phantom Menace?

Ah, yes, this is the elephant—or should I say "the Gungan"—in the room. The Machete Order flat out skips The Phantom Menace, and frankly, I’m not mad about it. No pod racing side quests, no midichlorians, no Jar Jar Binks. (Sorry, not sorry.) The film is essentially skippable because, narratively, it adds almost nothing to the overall saga. Plus, who wouldn’t trade a *Yippee!"-shouting young Anakin for the emotionally complex teenager we meet in Attack of the Clones?

New Reviews Coming Soon

I’m midway through this Machete Order rewatch, and it’s turning out to be a game-changer. What’s most exciting is how it completely transforms the storytelling perspective and adds depth to characters I thought I already knew inside and out. Did the Machete Order make me reevaluate my obsession with Boba Fett? Maybe. Are Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul missed? Slightly.

Stay tuned for my follow-up reviews of the individual movies within this sequence. I’m breaking the films down from a Machete Order perspective, and my allegiances may shift along the way. (Han Solo is still my favorite, though—don’t panic.)

My Final Thoughts for You

If you're a die-hard Star Wars fan or a newcomer looking for a way to dip your toe into that galaxy far, far away, consider giving the Machete Order a try. It truly revitalized my viewing experience and deepened my appreciation for the series. It’s smarter, flows better, and makes you care in ways you didn’t expect. Trust me, you’ll watch Vader’s red lightsaber ignite in A New Hope and feel chills.

Want to geek out further? Drop your thoughts in the comments, send me hate mail about skipping The Phantom Menace, or suggest your own Star Wars viewing orders. The force—and the popcorn—is with you.

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