The Funny Newz: Snow Leopard Has Online Woman Purring

KATMANDU, Nepal -- Studies show that a high percentage of online encounters usually end in disappointing fashion, mostly due to overblown and exaggerated user profiles. But, sometimes bliss can be a click away. The Funny Newz reports the story of a special snow leopard that has women online swooning.

Love Paws, who previously described himself in typical ho-hum fashion as a professional male looking for a casual to serious relationship, is in actuality a real snow leopard -- just as he now claims in his updated and honest Yahoo personals add. Ever since he placed the newer ad, the response has been overwhelming.

“There’s something sexy about Love Paws being an ‘endangered species,’” Chloe Parks, 33, of Newport Beach, Calif., admitted. “Most guys I meet online are total dweebs. When I found out Love Paws was a real snow leopard, I was blown away. Not only is he handsome, he’s very sensitive and frisky. My girlfriends are so jealous,” said a blushing Parks.

Image: Parks (above) is one of many women won over by Love Paws charming personality, rugged good looks, and attentiveness to the needs of the modern American working woman. Often times, she falls asleep as they spend countless hours in private online chat. They spend countless hours in private online chat.

Love Paws placed his first Yahoo personals add in January 2005, after his first wife, a mountain lioness, left him for another mountain lion, a close friend he would often hunt rodents and boar with.
A year later, having no luck with his fake tax accountant profile, a mountain goat encouraged him to put an honest ad out there in the hope of finding an honest mate. He was amazed when women heeded his call as a “lonely snow leopard looking for love, friendship and a little sizzle.”

Image: Love Paws often chats online with snow leopard-curious couple Susan and Brad Glickman (above), owners of Swingers Coffee, Jacksonville, Florida. They simply guffaw over Love Paws’ online photo album and his ability to purr on chat. They are just one of many that have been “smitten with the kitten.” 

Single men are not all together thrilled that exotic animals are putting ads on personals sites.

Reginald Bunson, 36, a goofy-looking technical writer in Houston, Texas, said he has little chance competing with a snow leopard like Love Paws.

“What can I do? He lives in the Himalayans while I live in my parent’s crappy basement,” Bunson said. “Next thing you know an ivory-billed woodpecker will put an ad online and that’s it for the rest of us single guys. What girl wouldn’t want to have a woodpecker?”
Interesting question, but Bunson can rest easier—at least for now: Love Paws and Parks are engaged.